Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Floor bacon is actually really good
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