Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize