can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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