I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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