Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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