Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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