pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
