Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize