you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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