did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize