even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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