Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
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Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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