my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR