you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
