I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
