Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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