Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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