Cold hands, warm shart.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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