2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
