I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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