Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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