My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
