Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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