I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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