hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I smell like Dick and happiness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
