I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .