Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.