what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize