It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
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I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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