Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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