sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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