some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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