I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize