You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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