it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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