I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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