i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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