Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize