Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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