Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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