Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize