would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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