For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize