i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
