Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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