my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
