Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.