butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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