brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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