nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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