Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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